Powerless

By: RDV


Morgan was unusually ponderous that day, everyone would’ve said so. What they didn’t know, however, was that he was looking for something to think about. It was much, much harder than anyone thought; it was certainly easier said than done especially if what you were currently preoccupied with was something you know you were better off forgetting.


Morgan was exactly in the same situation. For one thing, he just discovered that he hadn’t yet become the heartless person he practiced to be. For another, prom night was coming.


It would really be splendid if he came with the person he liked. For months counting, he had pictured himself arm in arm with that person. But the fact is, that person was someone who should/could never be seen around Morgan. Flighty, geeky, solipsistic, often-disparaged-for-his-clothing Morgan. For those who had use for facts, surely, they’d be on time to throw disdainful looks his way once they knew.


Once they knew that it was really Alejo Morgan wanted to be with. For this secret to be secure, Morgan needed to impose a severe rule of silence on himself. He kept it untold; he didn’t even share it to his dog-friend, to whom he was closest. Alejo was the Basketball Team’s captain. He was the sort of over-achiever that owned almost all desirable qualities. He was a straight A student, a good athlete, sexy and nice. Everyone knew that homecoming queen candidate Moira was so into him, and him to her. Unfortunately for Morgan, chances were ridiculously slim.


Morgan had started liking Alejo way back in junior high. But he liked him more intensely when they were partnered for their science lab experiments. Alejo had been warm to him despite Morgan’s first guesses. As a result, they got top marks for their projects and activities. As another result, Morgan was rewarded with great inspiration.


Ever since then, Alejo had made a business of greeting Morgan each time they passed each other in the corridors, incidents that were accidental to Alejo but were actually schemed by Morgan who would apparently not live through the day without so much as a “hi” from Alejo. Ever since then Morgan never stopped pining for Alejo, without ever knowing what it was he really wanted from him. It was Alejo who brought havoc to the impressive order of his life. Which was gone now. Miserably gone.


Two days before the special night, word leaked out that Alejo was indeed going with Moira. It was more hurtful to Morgan than it was to other girls who also liked Alejo. However, Morgan didn’t think of Moira as an opposition to overcome, anyway he hadn’t any chance to begin with. It just simply hurt. Plus he wasn’t about to stage a ludicrous scene in which he’d actually ask Alejo to go to the prom with him. While there was a sort of understanding between them, there wasn’t any hint that Alejo accepted Morgan’s sexual preference.


So it was really farfetched.


It was then when Morgan asked himself the question everyone asked himself; should I or should I not? In his case, it was the debate of going to the prom or not. His mom decided that he should and he agreed in fear that he might regret such rash decision later on in his life. Prom was what high school dumb girls lived for. Whatever it’s worth, he had to experience it.


He went stag. He wore an expensive black suit by Armani which he only used once, during a cousin’s wedding at Holiday Inn. He looked considerably more gorgeous, in a way no one had noticed before, and myriads of spying eyes were glued on him, most probably tied up in the question of why he went stag. They didn’t know he was what they called a fag. An hour and a half later the King and Queen of the Night were awarded. It was Alejo and Moira, predictably. Claps went through the roof as the dance floor was opened up by the principal. He didn’t know how many girls hinted at wanting to dance with him; he didn’t know how many songs Alejo and Moira waltzed on. When midnight struck and everyone’s feet were swelling Morgan came outside the hall. He was tired. He was feeling for his car keys. He wanted to go home. At the parking lot, he saw Alejo, alone, smoking.


He let out a low “Hi.”


Morgan said “Hi” back. He was making the same face he made each time Alejo was near him, half-smiling, half-shy.


Was Morgan going home? It was too early.


Yes.


Was Alejo on the way home too?


Probably. Moira wanted to check in in some motel and Alejo didn’t plan to. She ditched him for football captain Andrew. They were probably naked on the sheets now. Alejo smiled bitterly.


Oh.


Shyness, nervousness, awkwardness and so on mobbed Morgan. It was obviously not the proper time and place to ask Alejo to hang around a bit more with him. It was not their Physics class. Besides, no one would like to hover around with a person who was nothing but someone who suffered all the time. Like Morgan, who had to wrestle with his hormones at midnight thereafter.


Then Alejo surprised Morgan by putting these words on his mouth: “Would you care for a few drinks at Ted’s?” Ted’s was the name of the nearby bar. People went there to go crazy or to chip in coins in the jukebox or to order Martini on the rocks and beer and Johnny Walker and other intoxicating liquids.


Morgan looked back at Alejo. His fortitude and energy died within a minute of each other so that he couldn’t say anything so he just merely nodded. They used Alejo’s car. It was Honda City’s newest model released just two years ago. It rode smoothly. At Ted’s Morgan ordered Bailey’s, while Alejo went for mug after mug of beer. They talked about things normal people at their high school would find too boring to talk about. Later, as early morning crawled on, they became more intimate. Morgan learned that Alejo once dated a guy called Kyle in first year. Alejo learned that Morgan hadn’t dated anyone but would like to if…


Alejo held Morgan’s hand. He assured Morgan that he was sober and he truly looked it. Would it be okay if they went out? From now on? They wouldn’t make a secret out of it anymore. The date they had with each other had been long overdue. It was high time it happened. Morgan was speechless.


Alejo put another hand on Morgan’s, so now Morgan could do nothing but be shocked, more.


Happiness found him. And he hoped that he might find it now amidst his surprise.


He smiled after a few moments sank in. He said yes, of course. He would love to. Alejo leaned closer to kiss him on the forehead. He said he wanted to do that a long time ago. Morgan said “Me, too.” And they laughed like madmen.


But they were not really mad, just in love.


That day, miracles were at work, somehow.