Common Misconceptions of a Broken Heart

by: RDV

She heard them sigh between murmurs, the things that often made her run away to the opposite direction. She should've been on the verge of breaking down when he whom he had started assuming to be her own ended up in the arms of an unworthy rival. Of course, she had been glad to have proven the girl a fool on many occasions and of course, she would never understand why she had to be the one for him.

She was better on all accounts. Bitter, after that.

She swooped inside the classroom in her morbid stilettoes. It was nearly four in the afternoon and the professor hadn't yet shown any sign of arriving, nor did the time present any semblance of progress towards the future. She fished out her Stat notebook in the hope of understanding what she formerly did not, until her constant admirer, Jude, came along and nestled himself in front of her. In response, she flashed him a glare. But Jude didn't look anywhere close to being glared at. On the contrary, he smiled, smiled as sweet as he never had.

"You're so sour I could almost taste your jealousy."

"What do you know?" She snapped. She knew he knew more than she wanted him to.

They exchanged glances for a spell, until he turned around, stooped down and reverted to his former position. By then, he had his own notebook and calculator as arsenal. She scowled. She didn't like him then; she liked him even less now.

"No thanks but no."

"Some people just don't know when they need help."

"Some, yeah."

"I've heard that two-way anova somehow found its way to our exams."

Really?" She said lazily. "Frankly Jude; I don't see why I should suffer any amount of loss if I missed a single problem. I can manage perfectly okay, so go."

"I somehow knew that you weren't very well known for your mood swings; I didn't know it was this bad."

"Runs in the family. Sorry."

"Come on. Just this once."

If she intended to reply, she soon changed her mind. Her attention was now fully monopolized by the sudden motion the classroom door had assumed. People started rushing in and the cold subsided in the embrace of new presences. Sonia and Kris came in, arm in arm, giggly grin on their faces; her world fell apart, again.

"Been feeling that way myself lately." He said out of the blue.

"What?"

"Murderous jealousy."

"Shut the fuck up, Jude."

"And what should I do then? Abide by your faulty reasoning? You should be over this a month ago."

In his inistence to make it a subject of conversation, she spat him a nasty look.

"That's very grown-up, venting your anger on me."

"Like you're not a part of it."

"Sure I am. But you display me in a bad light. I didn't do anything wrong but to like you."

"And that's it, right? You shouldn't have. You're making me feel only shittier than I should. God, I hate you."

She let her head down, her throat trapped by a tightened feeling that usually comes after hope ends and luck runs out.

"No need stating what's so obvious."

"I hate you."

"Oh yeah. Continue doing that." He frowned at her, then, "You're far more desperate than I knew. I'm so sorry."

"You should be." She said. "Now leave me alone and I'll stop blaming you at once."

"Oh, really? From what I see, you're not in the position to bargain."

"Well then do me a fucking favor. You know I can't be reasonable anytime I want to. Take yourself as an example; since when did you take this seriously?"

"Don't appeal to my conscience now; it would be too late and histrionic. I'm the one who's trying to help here."

"Not knowing that you're screwing me up worse and worse. Thanks a fucking bunch, Jude." She half screamed, half whispered while showing all the insensitivity of an ice pick. Thankfully, the class was in a pressing business to firestart an overwhelming noise.

"This isn't the gratitude I imagined from you. To be quite honest, you dismay me."

"Thanks for realizing that. Now will you please?"

He nodded and walked away from the overheated argument, knowing he wouldn't be called back. She repeatedly tapped her pencil on the desk after a patterned rhythm. As she stared at the work she'd finished, amidst all the hullabaloo, she realized that she really needed him that badly.

"Fuck it. I should've dismissed him after the class." She muttered under her breath. Soon as she was done saying it, the professor came in. That's what reassured her that she was failing this course even worse than she failed him.