Ugly

By: RDV
I can imagine you
So florid with excitement
As I draw near you,
But I can only imagine.
Out of daydream
I can see you
So intransigent
To my will
That you shut your eyes
Just so you can’t see me
Clearly.
I can walk away
Suffering from no impunity,
You can go on
With your life
Savoring my defeat,
And my tears
The final proof
Of your indifference.
I will close my eyes,
Afraid of what they may miss
But when I open them
Again I will just see you,
And you’ll see me
Waiting for your acknowledgement,
Waiting for that little
Injection of happiness
You’ll give for free
When you finally
Say you forgive me.
But you may be gone
Soon as you form.
You may be just
A phantom of my misery,
Lingering on the
Tips of my awareness,
Never promising departure.
Only the small space
Stands between
Me and total heartbreak;
Only you can
Break the spell.
But first let me
Hear you say
That satisfaction from
Sadism isn’t such
A delicious emotion.